Bar and Bat Mitzvahs – Coming of Age Celebrations
by Joan Burns, the 'Event Planner Extraordinaire'

In the Jewish culture and community, when Jewish children reach the age of majority (generally thirteen years for boys and twelve for girls) they become responsible for their actions, and "become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah". In many Conservative and Reform synagogues, girls celebrate their Bat Mitzvahs at age 13, along with boys.   After a Religious Service at the Synagogue the celebration follows with family, friends, and members of the community.

And Bar and Bat Mitzvahs have become quite the celebrations.  It is such a joyous occasion, and some celebrations and parties look much like a wedding reception.  There is music, dancing, food, gifts and activities for the guest. But where to begin?

• First off, remember this is just like any other event. The basics still apply. Set a budget, write down your guest list and find a venue that will meet you goals.

• Decide on a theme. Sit down with your child and talk about what they would like or what their interests are. It may be important to keep the Religious theme, but the main thing is to focus on the child.  Perhaps having a banner with their name on it over the “guest of honor” chair would be a possibility.

• Choose Invitations that fit your theme and still honor the religious meaning of the event. A formal Invitation will be much like an Invitation to a Wedding and will need extra pieces printed for the ceremony, the party and the RSVP with a return stamped envelope. You might look at designs to get ideas and then create your own invitation and have it printed either at home or at the local print shop.  It will save some money.  Consider using a post card for the RSVP card. Postage is less and you will use less paper.

• Create a dramatic entrance to you party! Have a balloon arch or balloon columns at the door.  Another idea is to create a collage of photos of the guest of honor and place it on an easel. Or have a photo of the young boy or girl in a frame and encourage guests to sign their well-wishes on the mat.

• Decide on a menu.  If the food is to be Kosher, seek out a caterer that specializes in that menu.  Perhaps you can ask your favorite local Jewish Restaurant if they will cater.  One tip I learned is “if you don't have a kosher caterer, offer a fish or vegetarian alternative for the rabbi, cantor and other observant guests.”

• Entertainment is a big part of the celebration. If you hire a DJ, and you desire traditional Jewish Music, make sure the DJ has that music in his selections before you hire him or her. Some Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebrations are held at different types of venues that are of interest to the young man or woman.  Many activity venues now are accessible for the party such as bowling alleys, laser tag venues and theme parks.  In this instance the entertainment is built in!  Another great idea is a photo booth to keep the fun going!

• Create a timeline for your party to plan your order of events.  You will want to make sure there is time for any speeches or presentations.

• Hire a photographer or appoint someone who has talent with the camera to insure that memories are saved for the future.

A Bar or Bat Mitzvah is a milestone event in a young person’s life. The religious aspects such as Readings from the Torah are a special part of this tradition and honor the Jewish heritage they carry forward as they come of age. The party after the ceremony is also rich in tradition, but the main focus is having fun!